Alan Bennet, Dog Fleas and Jazz

It is November the 1st and, as promised, here I am writing the monthly blog for The Walsham Penners.

The past few weeks have flown by in a haze, not unlike the fuzz experienced the morning after a 1940s, Pimms party many, many, years ago! (If you hate me and I'm not reading the signs, simply pour me a glass of this Satan's blood and I'll get the message!)

It is a pity however that this particular haze wasn't initiated through an overload of jazz, or the joviality of a social function-purely through the necessities of being a working mother, in a new job, who recently completed a form where she had to tick the next 'age-range' box along! It may relieve  you to know, however, that as the wrinkles and girth of my thighs increases, so too does my cynicism! I do actually think I am the off-spring of Hilary, in Alan Bennett's 'The Old Country', a play I was fortunate to see at The Maddermartket Theatre recently. (Nice lead in, Hayey, I hear you say!)

This, I'm shame-faced to say, is the first Alan Bennett play I have ever seen, and WOW what an initiation. The days of The Cold War, defectors and double agents may be resigned to history and James Bond, but the issues of treachery and deception are ever relevant, whether on a global scale or in the close quarters of home! The debates that this play could give rise to are numerous: Englishness, the British social system/state, materialism, capitalism versus spiritual wealth, minimalism, family versus the individual....discussions too numerous to debate here, but any comments on these are most welcome! Anyway, I'd thoroughly recommend seeing this play if you get the chance, the bombasting, cynical wit  and black humour was, quite frankly... 'right up my street'! I love you, Alan!

The month may have been fraught with snot, projectile vomit, paint sliding from my bathroom walls, and dog fleas, but it hasn't been entirely without success either! Two of our fabulous members recently entered the 'Norwich Theatre's Ghost Story Comp' (both entries were brilliant!) and I'm ecstatic to announce that Bob came 2nd!!!!! This was his first short story entry, so huge congratulations to him!! I'm hoping that both Bob and Patsy will post their entries below for you all to enjoy. Comments greatly appreciated.

I made the huge mistake earlier this month of writing a short story for a competition entry (months in advance)waiting, and waiting, for the deadline to approach so that I could email my creation, only to find, 24 hours before closing, that it was postal entries only!!!!! Please don't fall into my trap and CHECK THE FINE PRINT!!! (Not quite sure why I waited??? Some befuddled logic I'm sure!!)

I'd like to sign off by warning you that we are working on our group anthology which will (hopefully) be published sometime in the new year! Yes, you may queue outside our meeting room to ensure you get a copy!

Please leave me some comments on anything I've said, or post here if there's anything you'd like to share-please...I'm so lonely!!!

H xxxx

The Impossible State

 

Have just finished reading an intriguing book entiled The Impossible State by Victor Cha. Prior to reading this book, I knew next to nothing about North Korea apart from the usual media treatment of the country which inevitably portrays the country in a bad light.

 

Victor Cha is the former Director for Asian Affairs at the National Security Council. During his role as an adviser he spent some time in Pyongyang so is in a very good position to comment on that country. He treats the subject objectively giving us both the good and bad points.

 

Of course there are plenty of bad points, such as the political prisoners, low wages, and no real individual thought process. Everybody is expected to treat the leaders of the country ( the Kim Dynasty) with the utmost reverence. It is fair to say that who ever the leader is, is worshiped like a god.

 

Obviously the fact that North korea possess nuclear weapons makes it a state that other countries tread very carefuly around, and allows it to get away with it's digressions. Victor Cha argues that the only way to stop this cycle of threat and appeasement, is for unification of the two countries. A costly. but ultimeately necessary excercise.

 

Victor Cha states that given the oppertunity the Korean people would flourish , once the politics have gone.

 

I enjoyed reading the book, which gave a fascinating and objective view of a little known state.

 



 

 



 

 



Next blog date!

Hi there,
A short note-It's been a while-trapped between family life, attempting to get back into body combat-which resulted in a dubious walk and a very curious expression-a  puppy who thinks that all socks and pants should be shredded, and starting a new job-which this week included a vile case of projectile vomiting on my classroom floor-I haven't had time to post properly!!

I'd love one of you to start posting, as I shall now only be posting on the first of every month! If one of you would thus like to post in the interim....

H xxx

Blowing-up the world and Why I won't read Harry Potter!!

This blog should, in theory, be written on a Sunday after planning for the school week is in hand, and the weekends hangover has dulled to a mere stagnant pond aroma on my breath...but, the days planning did not end well-and I found myself trying to blow-up the world at 8 o'clock; there must have been a puncture however, as every time the USA began to expand, it quickly shrivelled again! (I hear you cry...good??? ) Thus, out of puff and with the failure of my world, I went to bed. The evening did not get any better as I picked up The Catcher in the Rye, by JD Salinger-the book that makes bedtime a chore! Heralded as a classic, and on many 'banned lists', I expected to be blown away by this classic.However, I can only imagine that it's banned because it makes the reader feel violent. Holden is a male, cynical (is there any other) adolescent, who really needs a good slap. It's not that I can't sympathise with teenage angst and I've been a practising cynic for some time, but, the constant maudlin tone and repetition of the phrase 'To tell you the truth' has driven me insane night, after night. When Holden gets punched by the elevator/pimp I found myself thinking... hit him in the face! Last night I was so bored I began to re-arrange the letters of the title and author. The best I could come up with was Hear the Thatcher Cry and The Cratch in the Eye, both by Gas Lingers (clearly I had to omit a couple of letters here and there!)

Anyway, the reason I shouldn't have read it is because I'd been waiting to read it, it'd been sitting by my bed, and penned on my reading list for many moons...I'd been building it up far too high-it could never really live up to my expectations! Maybe I should read Harry Potter, I have no expectations.

Well, that's it...if anyone has anything to add I always want to hear it. Also, if anyone knows what a cratch might be please let me know!!!!

As a post this week-or a mail to me if you're shy, can you rework any other classic titles into something more...fitting????

Blackadder did Sense and Senility-I love the book but this title did make me laugh!!!!

Enjoy your week my pretties x

50 Shades of the Social Spectrum and the Sunday Scribble

Thought for the day...
Is it just me, or should every invite to a family bash come with a health warning, ear plugs and plastic gloves?

I'm pondering the thought as I'm recovering from a weekend in Leicester, which included a surprise 60th bash for an aunt and a visit to...Beaumont Leys. For those of you unfamiliar with the spectacle - that is Beaumont Leys - it may help you to picture the scene if I give you the name of the area as it is known by the initiated....Beaumont Fleas. I have however, decided to rename it, as the post-title states, as...50 shades of the Social Spectrum and Other Pond Life.

I have never heard such colourful language spoken by parents (with so few teeth and questionable personal hygiene) to their children. The experience, in this out of town metropolis, reminded me why I hadn't visited for so long - in-fact the last time was when my girls were very small (and lacking in judgement); we went shopping, and swimming, at what was then a new and pretty funky leisure centre-it is now referred to as 'the baths'-I'm really not kidding! The very last time we paid to bathe with the locals, one child locked himself in a locker- his mother din't seem to care-and someone had left a well-worn pair of the pants in the shower. I hadn't realised it was a swap and drop centre-so many things could be picked-up for free!!! My visit this weekend has given me a renewed view of North Walsham!

Anyway, social rant and snobbery aside, I promised a spark for a quick write for those who would like to play...I've had a couple of witty emails that would make great reading for all, but it seems shyness stops these writers from posting here and I won't post without your permission - remember...If the 50 Shades of Grey author isn't embarrassed........No more than 100 words on the following :)

Voewood Festival and The Sunday Scribble

If only I could afford
to sleep in this bed!

This weekend saw the second ever Voewood Festival in Kelling, Norfolk. It is lorded as The Arts Garden Party of the Year. Usually I need to rob my childrens' piggy banks to go to any social event-and I mean any-but happy chance found half-price tickets on the wonder that is Group-on, thus, I was at the festival on the opening night-

Friday. Although I had a sneaky peek at the house and grounds, on the 2nd wonder that is google, I wasn't quite prepared for how stunning the venue actually was. Feeling slightly out of place, lacking in vocab and plums in mouth, I headed straight for the Hendrick's tent-if the house doesn't blow your socks off the gin cocktails will (the price may also give you palpitations!) I felt like an aunts poor neice, but after managing to fit a 5 syllable word into conversation-without the use of the internet-and after 3 cocktails, I relaxed in the ambience that is Voewood. The chilled DJs in the Hendrick's bar, HMS Sweet Charity, who only play records found in thrift and charity shops (I was afraid Bananarama and, worse, Chesney Hawkes, may be infecting my ear drums!) played a great collection of sound tunes from many moons ago, some of which my Nanna would croon and swing too.

As this was the first evening there were, of course, a few hiccups-the veggie tapas selection was Gazpacho and dry bread-ER...yum? The garden expert was stuck in traffic, as was Kate Mosse-OO and John Hurt was apparently at Voewood, but we didn't see him because he fell off a wall during a party the evening before -sounds like a good night!-and the helpers/workers weren't sure where some events were happening-luckily it's a small venue so it would be hard to get too lost and the charm that oozes from the setting canels any hiccups out-the most amazing port-a-loos I ever seen were also a point of awe and wonder!

It may seem that we spent most of our time staring in amazement at the loos and drinking but we actually managed to see all of Kate Mosse's slot where she discussed her latest novel-she only finished editing it this week and read out the opening page to an awestruck audience-she also discussed 'labyrinth'-apparently Ridley Scott has just serialised this, and I believe Mr Hurt is part of the cast, however, I may have been in a gin haze and completely confused conversations so don't quote this!! I admit, I've never read Kate Mosse's work-shamefaced I am-but her focus on female heroines puts her on my pile of books to read!

The evening finished with a music set by British Sea Power-my lovely pal Cindy(a committed fan-of BSP, not of me) knows me well and said I'd love them despite the amount of the foliage they'd strewn around the stage-she was spot on-rock and rolllll! They were absolutely amazing-fab tune after tune after tune-I am a new fan! The lead singer fell off of the stage and right on top of me and STILL carried on playing-now that is rock and roll!  

The list of literary guests was mind-blowing and I'm sure the festival will grow and grow so get on the mailing list for next year and I'll see you...yes-in the gin tent!

Oh, and as of next Sunday the Sunday Scribble will begin-a spark will be on the blog and an invite to you all to write 100 words max relating to the spark-Go wild!

Voewood Festival this weekend...a good line-up-though my literary ignorance is shameful-Simon Armitage, Hanif Kureshi...Billy Bragg...get a ticket if you can and I'll meet you in the gin tent!!! Yes, there's a Hendrick's gin tent!!!!

Hi

Saw photos on my laptop looks very good.You were probably as hot there as we have been here over the past few days. after playing around with various bits and pieces I think I have worked out how to respond to a blog

All the best
John

Blogging phobic no more!

I'm completely new to this blogging malarky but small children have advised me it's the thing to do!

I guess they're right, you're never too old to learn something new and, as time presses on-we never know how much sand is left in the timer-I've decided to embrace every new experience that comes my way!!! 

On my list of things to do, the top priority was to take-up skinny dipping, but I'm going with priority number 2, which is only slightly less offensive to the public...that is, to take my writing more seriously, stop dreaming about it, and actually do it...hence the formation of Walsham Writers' Group based in the bootiful North Norfolk countryside. We began meeting in April 2012 and we've quickly grown into a small, but very friendly, dedicated group of both published, and aspirational writers-the debate of when to call yourself a writer can be discussed here!!!

Thanks to the group I have begun to embrace the long-neglected reading of poetry-our first 'social' was to a poetry reading by Wendy Cope in Stalham. She was wonderful, sharp, witty and highly entertaining.

 As one new discovery leads to another...holidaying in Spain we came across a real gem of a town called Orihuela. Once you've passed the prostitutes on their red plastic chairs, the stunning turquoise lake, and the salinas, you'll find a small, sleepy little place nestled at the bottom of a hill; on top of which, sits an ancient monastery. This town was once the home of a poet-I confess I had no idea who he was, but faked the emotions, for the benefit of the kind lady at the tourist info, who attempted to impress me with the sights dedicated to this one, Miguel Hernandez! Sadly, everything, bar the library, was closed on this particular day-a phenomenon that seems to occur every time we drag ourselves into an inland Spanish town, through 40 degree sunshine, with 2 very agitated children!! However, the exterior of every museum, church and cathedral was absolutely stunning and well worth a trip again next year! The one attraction that had little choice but to entertain us, was the most stunning outside gallery. Huge murals have been painted by a collection of artists, writers, children, teachers...on the sides of houses, in an otherwise poor, shabby looking part of town. Stunning!! I've posted some pics above- but the photo that I really wanted was of a young, ragged boy climbing out of a ditch, full of rubbish, holding 2 pigeons in his arms. He was standing beside the picture of the dove above, which exemplifies freedom. I tried to get out my camera quickly to capture the moment, but the car began to roll backwards down the hill, my husband and children began shouting, and the boy skipped off laughing, his pigeons tucked safely under his arm!!

I've just been informed my blog is too long, so that's all for now!
Please feel free to comment on any of the above, post work you'd like to share-be prepared for comments. I'd also like your short story recommendations-try this one, it's mind-blowingly fantastic,
'The Snow Goose' by Paul Galico.