Next blog date!

Hi there,
A short note-It's been a while-trapped between family life, attempting to get back into body combat-which resulted in a dubious walk and a very curious expression-a  puppy who thinks that all socks and pants should be shredded, and starting a new job-which this week included a vile case of projectile vomiting on my classroom floor-I haven't had time to post properly!!

I'd love one of you to start posting, as I shall now only be posting on the first of every month! If one of you would thus like to post in the interim....

H xxx

Blowing-up the world and Why I won't read Harry Potter!!

This blog should, in theory, be written on a Sunday after planning for the school week is in hand, and the weekends hangover has dulled to a mere stagnant pond aroma on my breath...but, the days planning did not end well-and I found myself trying to blow-up the world at 8 o'clock; there must have been a puncture however, as every time the USA began to expand, it quickly shrivelled again! (I hear you cry...good??? ) Thus, out of puff and with the failure of my world, I went to bed. The evening did not get any better as I picked up The Catcher in the Rye, by JD Salinger-the book that makes bedtime a chore! Heralded as a classic, and on many 'banned lists', I expected to be blown away by this classic.However, I can only imagine that it's banned because it makes the reader feel violent. Holden is a male, cynical (is there any other) adolescent, who really needs a good slap. It's not that I can't sympathise with teenage angst and I've been a practising cynic for some time, but, the constant maudlin tone and repetition of the phrase 'To tell you the truth' has driven me insane night, after night. When Holden gets punched by the elevator/pimp I found myself thinking... hit him in the face! Last night I was so bored I began to re-arrange the letters of the title and author. The best I could come up with was Hear the Thatcher Cry and The Cratch in the Eye, both by Gas Lingers (clearly I had to omit a couple of letters here and there!)

Anyway, the reason I shouldn't have read it is because I'd been waiting to read it, it'd been sitting by my bed, and penned on my reading list for many moons...I'd been building it up far too high-it could never really live up to my expectations! Maybe I should read Harry Potter, I have no expectations.

Well, that's it...if anyone has anything to add I always want to hear it. Also, if anyone knows what a cratch might be please let me know!!!!

As a post this week-or a mail to me if you're shy, can you rework any other classic titles into something more...fitting????

Blackadder did Sense and Senility-I love the book but this title did make me laugh!!!!

Enjoy your week my pretties x

50 Shades of the Social Spectrum and the Sunday Scribble

Thought for the day...
Is it just me, or should every invite to a family bash come with a health warning, ear plugs and plastic gloves?

I'm pondering the thought as I'm recovering from a weekend in Leicester, which included a surprise 60th bash for an aunt and a visit to...Beaumont Leys. For those of you unfamiliar with the spectacle - that is Beaumont Leys - it may help you to picture the scene if I give you the name of the area as it is known by the initiated....Beaumont Fleas. I have however, decided to rename it, as the post-title states, as...50 shades of the Social Spectrum and Other Pond Life.

I have never heard such colourful language spoken by parents (with so few teeth and questionable personal hygiene) to their children. The experience, in this out of town metropolis, reminded me why I hadn't visited for so long - in-fact the last time was when my girls were very small (and lacking in judgement); we went shopping, and swimming, at what was then a new and pretty funky leisure centre-it is now referred to as 'the baths'-I'm really not kidding! The very last time we paid to bathe with the locals, one child locked himself in a locker- his mother din't seem to care-and someone had left a well-worn pair of the pants in the shower. I hadn't realised it was a swap and drop centre-so many things could be picked-up for free!!! My visit this weekend has given me a renewed view of North Walsham!

Anyway, social rant and snobbery aside, I promised a spark for a quick write for those who would like to play...I've had a couple of witty emails that would make great reading for all, but it seems shyness stops these writers from posting here and I won't post without your permission - remember...If the 50 Shades of Grey author isn't embarrassed........No more than 100 words on the following :)